Monday, July 29, 2013

Even my parents think I'm fat.

I moved back to the Midwest about a month ago.  It wasn't by choice it was because instead of my parents helping me get through some financial issues they threatened me until I caved.  Let me tell you it's been absolutely horrible.  Not only am I 26 about to be 27 in a few months and living in my parents house again I'm treated like I'm 10 years old.  I'm bored out of my mind because I have no job, no friends and no life here.  I'm absolutely miserable and surrounded by foods I haven't allowed myself to look at in 2 years. 

Bread, peanut butter, ice cream, soup, cheese, pretzels, cereal, etc.  I was living off a diet of plain oat meal, Thinkthin bars, baby food, Flintstones vitamins, apples and green veggies .  A month ago I was between 140 and 145lbs that's 10-ish lbs from my 1st goal weight and now I'm 155.  It's absolutely disgusting how little self control I had when I got back.  I know the weight gain is due to boredom and being surrounded by forbidden food.  I mean last night my father looked at me and asked if I was still running since I moved back and when I said no he looked and me and said you need to start running again tomorrow.  My mother started talking about how my sister has food issues and is too skinny.  I wanted to cry because my sister is pregnant and 4 days over due but still skinnier than I am.  My family thinks I'm disgusting and I don't blame them I sit on my ass all day looking for jobs and I get bored and eating.  Starting today I'm getting back on track.  I want to be the girl people whisper about behind her back because they aren't sure if I'm just lucky or have an eating disorder.

Goals:
Only eat plain oatmeal, Greek yogurt or fruits and veggies.
I only eat one of the above once a day
Drink at least 4 bottles of water a day
Start running again
Stop feeling sorry for myself and start working on getting back to my beloved Los Angeles
Stop saying "I" so much when I talk or write it makes me sound so self centered.  Of course I'd have to actually have a life to stop being a selfish talker. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Starting this again

I've been thinking about starting this up again for awhile.  After a lot of thought on how I decided to just go for it, although I might be deleting the old posts in the next few weeks.  I don't know why I'm stating that since nobody is reading this haha.

So today's calorie count

Food                                                   Calories
1/3 cup plain greek yogurt                    47
1 peach                                               69
1 tbsp chopped almonds                      62
1 package Pretzel Crisps                     110
1 orange                                              87
1 string cheese                                     50

Grand total: 425

Not a bad day considering the past few days I've gone way over my limit of 600.  I really need to get some vegetables into my diet.